Clairesant’s Weblog

March 20, 2008

My Opinion: To Pursue or not Pursue?

Filed under: relationships — Tags: , , , — clairesant @ 7:00 am

Before you continue reading, just want to give you a heads up that this question is meant to be for ladies. Yes, men are not supposed to dwell too much on this question. If you think you like that single woman out there who has no major issues then go ahead. Get to know her well and court her if you think you really like her.  So what about for women? I agree with what they say that when a woman initiates a relationship with a man, she’ll do the initiating for the rest of her married life with him. Men are designed to be initiators, pursuers or “chasers” whatever you may call it. Women are to be pursued. This is not a cultural issue. God created Adam before Eve. Adam saw her and he liked her.  Since I was a child, I’ve always thought that it was not normal for a woman to pursue. Nobody told me that. It’s instinct. I just thought that was the norm. Ladies, it’s nice and it feels good to be pursued. I always believed that a man should love a woman more than she should love him…not until marriage where degree or level of love should be equal. This is not a campaign on woman’s power or something. Many times, we think (and even a lot of men do) that men like girls who are head over heels in love with them. It makes them feel good about themselves. It feeds their ego. This setup about women being the initiators maybe successful but not always especially in the long run.  I’ve asked a lot of good men about this including my brothers (Yes! I did my homework a long time ago.) And take note, good men. Their answer is yes, they love it of course especially if she’s a hot babe…a good girlfriend material but not a wife material. They all agreed that they still want to be the pursuers; they want a sense of challenge. It makes them more fulfilled and successful when they went through a tough job. Some men don’t like to work hard though. They just wait for good girls to come. Well, they won’t because real good girls never chase after boys. You may think it’s not true that all good men are taken. It could be true. And some are just waiting. But if they don’t want to work hard, forget them. And if you girls can’t wait, good luck. You will miss the fun of being pursued. I still believe that real good men don’t want to be pursued. Because good men are the hardworking ones and they’ll work hard to pursue you.  What about those men who got no courage to propose? Well, bad news is there are men like that. They don’t want rejection or they are just full of fears. But how can you expect those men to be responsible leaders of their future families and decision makers who are able to handle conflicts if they can’t even do a simple task that their hearts are crying out for. How can you entrust your life to that kind of man who is so afraid to face challenge, risks and possible failure?  Back to the Ladies…So for those who can’t wait, get your acts together! Sorry but all you can do is wait, pray, be confident and stay beautiful. Always remember that after all, good men love not-easy-to-get, beautiful (in and out), confident, independent, godly and patient women. J


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